Picking My Shattered Pieces Up

The year is almost ending again. Looking back to what has happened this year, I have realized so many things even the tiniest details I used to ignore. Making myself busy all the time and confining myself to the world of work has made me shut my eyes, deafened my ears and zipped my mouth.

In the middle of this year, the time of finally stroking my wings has came. I embraced the beauty of traveling, learning other people's culture and meeting people. Has it given me something worth remembering? Jotting down those worth remembering, the pages of my diary won't be enough.

One thing that makes me smile when I remember the past events would be making my mind think in a broader perspective. Broader, I would say in a sense of analyzing what is real and what is not, what is a lie and what is the truth, who the real people are and who the fake ones are. I have came to realize I am capable of doing those. 

The second is that I was able to open up with something I haven't done for a long time; love and extend care to strangers. I thought I was already numb but then no. I can still love and cry over love. Is it worth remembering? Yes, definitely! 

The third; no matter how I try to fix something that is already broken, the scar will always be there. People may and may not forgive what you have done wrong even you have asked for sincere apologies. I guess it is time to start something new; something that won't give me emotional torture just like now. It won't be easy to move on but I know I will soon get there. I am aware that the tunnel of smile is waiting for me to walk pass and see the beauty of it again.

Although I had endured a lot of things this year, I am still thankful for all of those. Those will be my stepping stone to become better and even stronger.  Bring it on! I will conquer you in any way I can!

Challenge accepted!

Padis Point Araneta: Discourteous Barista

Last Sunday, December 14, 2014, my friends and I decided to have a drink after lunch just to kill time before my husband and I travel back home. The last time we met, we had drinks at Padis point Araneta so we thought of going there. My husband requested to sit and drink in front of the counter.  While we were looking at the menu, I thought of trying other kinds of drinks. The guys wanted to have whiskey and I feel like having Corona beer or any super dry beer. Unfortunately, they only have the local beers available, there's not even whiskey. Jel asked for rhum and coke; with that, we noticed the barista seemed to have lack of knowledge of the different kinds of drinks their bar is offering.

What annoyed us was this;

Non-verbatim;

Jel; Do you have rhum and coke? (May rhum and coke kayo?)

Barista: No, we don't. (Wala  din)

But we can see, they have rhum and other softdrinks on display. We just let it go.  Then Jel asked for another drink, when the barista suddenly answered;

Barista: Ma'am, you can choose our cocktails, it's way cheaper. (Magcocktail nalang kayo mas mura pa)

Jel: I don't want that. Don't worry, I have money to pay for my drinks. Give me your most expensive and I will pay for it. ( Ayoko ko nyan kuya eh, huwag ka mag alala, may pambayad ako. Pakibigay ng pinakamahal nyo diyan, babayaran ko )

She told this to him even smiling.  He's lucky, she was able to handle the situation in that way or else the barista will have a taste of the most bitter drink he would encounter in his life.

Non-Verbatim 

Me: Let's go find a polite barista. (Hanap nalang tayo ng mas polite na barista)

PJ and my husband: I guess that's better.(Mabuti pa nga)

Customers asked for something they can pay for. The menu was handed to us and we definitely knew how much it costs and we can assess if we can afford to pay for it or not.

Such a rude barista! 

Christmas Tradition with Friends

Time flies! My friends and I cannot imagine we have to plan for our eat together again. As we get older, our schedules are becoming tighter and tighter. When we were still single and had simple desires, having time for each other was quite easy but then now, it seems like our calendars are full of red marks; trips, business meeting, conferences, trainings and many more. I often say, "let's plan two months ahead". And yes, that's what we did.

Since I am leaving for my hometown the next weekend, and Jel, my other friend has an early Christmas party beforehand, we decided to do a one day get together. PJ and Gael have their time off on weekends therefore it was easy for them to agree. Since my husband is managing a business and even time for me is no longer part of his routine, it was tough to schedule, fortunately, he was able to find someone who will take over for one day at the last minute.

It is also part of the tradition to dress up for this and getting ready is one of the most difficult thing to do for me. With all the shoes and sandals I have, I can't choose which one to use. LOL! A week before that, I asked a shoemaker to make one for me but it was a total failure. I have no choice but to make up my mind with the footwear I have available.

Traveling to the city was tough because of the heavy traffic. This is common during the yuletide season. Batangas to Manila should be just 2 hours but then it took us more then that. We reached the meeting place at 1 in the afternoon. We planned to eat at a buffet restaurant but it's late since it will end at 2 pm at most. We have to decide where to eat asap because all of us were already hungry and the guys, we assume can already punch somebody else because of hunger if we won't hurry up. hahaha!

We decided to eat at Gerry's Grill, my friend's request wanting to eat pork and only pork. Wish granted, I just have to control. However, it was difficult to do so when the food arrived. Instead of getting guilty after that, I decided to just eat 3 spoons of rice so I won't feel bloated.

Some of the foods we ordered

Every time we are together, the conversation will just keep flowing to the point of forgetting the time. Then suddenly we were back to our senses. We decided to have a drink after lunch. We first went to Padis but then we had a bad start with their barista so I told Jel it's better to find another place. Fortunately, I saw Kangaroo Jack and I feel like the ambiance is nice; we settled there.

The inside of Kangaroo Jack bar and restaurant

A tower of San Miguel Beer Lights

After two tower rounds of san miguel beer lights and tons of topics we have talked about, we decided to end the day. My husband and I still needed to travel back to Batangas.  It wasn't a long ride since it was already night time and traffic has subsided. 

We reached home at past 11. It was tiring yet fun and fulfilling. An intellectual conversation with people with the same intelligence level is something definitely worth the time!

Until next time!

CDO-Camiguin: A Self-birthday Gift

It's been a long time since I traveled by myself and frankly, I miss being alone. Because of that, I have asked my husband's permission for me to travel myself on my birthday and I was granted, of course.

October 15, 2014, I headed to Cagayan de Oro. There I met my former roommate who in turn became like my younger sister. I have planned to meet her son who is my godson; first time to meet. Fortunately, they picked me up at the airport and dropped me off at Fem's Vines, where I spent my two nights. After I checked in, I dined out with them. An advance birthday party for me since the next day was my big day.

Although, I had a hard time communicating with the people around, I still enjoyed the silence since I cannot understand them. I felt like I had my own world. LOL!

The next few days of my trip was spent in Camiguin. Meeting people for the first time was a great experience especially if they just made a big impact in my life. I can say, I have no regrets meeting them.

Here's a short video of my trip.  Pardon me, I'm a noob in taking and making it.

Budweiser or Heineken?

Long hours of work deserves a treat by the end of the day.  With my sleeping disorder, any kinds of alcohol would make me sleep after that. Talk about lying down an immediately getting your sleep! Perfect!

I have tried many different kinds of alcohol to see which one will make me fall asleep quickly.  I have tried from whiskey, brandy, red and white wine and of course the very common one, beer. I used to drink San Miguel beer which is very popular local beer in the Philippines; 2 bottles of it was enough. But then as I continue drinking, my alcohol intake was increasing. So decide to change it from time to time. There are times, I go on red wine, then white wine and then beer.

Last night, Thursday, December 4th, I felt like it was a perfect night to drink something. I was exhausted from work, had a terrible time with someone over the phone which made me tremble with anger. I then asked someone to buy a different kind of beer at 7-11 stores. I was brought home a bottle of Budweiser and Heineken. Which one should I drink first? I went for Heineken first.

A bottle of Heineken on my work desk.

How did it taste? Well, there's a little sting, I would say. It got better while it's getting warmer. I prefer drinking a not so cold beer. After this, I decided to finish up my drinking session with a bottle of Budweiser.

A bottle of Budweiser still on my work desk.

It's not my first time to drink this but I would say, it's one of good beers I have drank. I can say this can serve as lady's drink since the taste is not that bitter compared to other beers.

And my Thursday night just like my other Thursday nights when I college ended extremely well.

My anger and frustration was gone while drinking and while I was serenaded by Blake Shelton's songs.

Time to find another brand of alcohol! LOL!

No Worlds to Go

Photo taken by someone with permission

Life has been so tough for her. Just so when she experience a bit of happiness, there comes a huge disaster in her life. She had tried hard to be a good one even to the point of giving up her own desires yet it wasn't enough. She feels empty as time goes by.

When the day she thinks she found a reason to live longer, all of a sudden it was taken away again from her. Her hopes and dreams were all thrown into the void. She had hoped for nothing and now she's left without any reason to exist. Did she make the wrong choice? She doesn't know.

Life seems to have no purpose and now she doesn't know how to get going. It seems she's starting from scratch yet she still can't find how to. She was made whole by someone but then she was shattered all the more by the same person. How can she pick the pieces up?

She's lost.

Care is Reassurance

Humans are gifted with many different emotions; some are very talented to handle and as the world of opposites was also created, some are too darn stupid in dealing with it. We are facing different walks of life and as we traverse, we meet people who we wanted to be part of our journey. 

With those differences, misunderstanding will always arise but as the wise men say, we just have to try to understand each other. But how much do we understand? Should we try to put their shoes on? Understanding is a very simple word but most people don't know it. Relationship with each other, family, friends, marriage and others need understanding. It's easy to say, "I understand you" but do you actually know how it is being shown? Most people don't. 

There are many factors affecting who we are. It maybe how were are being raised, people we have met, and the past; which gives a big impact in our lives. Because of this, people may became strong and people may become weak. People with strong personality are often  seen to be leaders, to be able to do things they desire and so on on their on. But most people with this strong personality has this emptiness in their thoughts. They often lack care from others even from their families because others think they don't need it. 

What does care do to one person as we may ask? There are many things it can do. Care is like a balm that soothes us. Simple things like "how are you?" can make someone's dark day lighten up. A hug which speaks so much care can make someone smile. The complex words "I love you?" can draw back someone's tears.

Always remember that if we are adding somebody to be part of our lives, we always have to be ready of the good as well as the bad effects of it. You may not know, you are already making a difference in their lives. 

Show some care, it's not expensive, and you might save someone's life.

I Drink Because...

We have this stereotypical thinking that when a man loves drinking, he's irresponsible, bad and so many other bad things tied up to his personality. It is worst when it comes to women who choose to love drinking. I am well-aware of the bad effects of alcohol in the body but I still choose to do so.

I drink because I have a terrible sleeping order.  Alcohol makes me sleep well. After two bottles of beer or two glasses of red wine, I have to hurry up, go to bed and close my eyes before the effect of alcohol has gone.  I have tried a lot of remedies to make me fall asleep at night but then nothing had worked. So instead of being drowsy at work in the morning, I'd better have alcohol before bed time.

        

I drink because it clears up my mind. When I have alcohol in my body, my brain stops becoming active. I can forget a lot of things that makes my life miserable. It stops the flow of my tears. The best part of it, it makes me smile. I maybe strong as perceived by many but I am emotionally weak, too. I cry over small things and most people think it's crazy. Oh well I am and if you don't understand me, there's no reason for you to be part of my life.

So whatever people say when I drink, I don't care. Besides, I am not asking them to buy my drinks. I may have health problems in the future because of it, I still don't care. I have no child therefore I don't have any reasons to live longer.

Want to change me? Show me why I have to.

Life Equals Sacrifice

Living is equal to making choices. That's what I have known since I got my mind on what is reality. People say if you choose something over something, you have to be ready for whatever consequences it may bring.  Some are making drastic decisions in life and in the end they will be finding someone to blame. Since knowing and accepting the truth is the most painful of all, some end up living their lives in denial.

What makes life worth living? It is when you choose something or someone to be your reason to live. Having those aspects in life will keep your feet moving no matter how troublesome the road you are walking into. However, humans have a certain point in life when they raise their hands in surrender. This is where you yearn for answers as to whether you made the right choice or not. The question "why" is always present.  But we also have to bear in mind that there are many factors affecting the choice we made.  People around us always give the biggest impact to it.

Sacrifice... they say, that's what we do for people we love. But the question is, how much can you bear? Can the other party do the same thing? Loving takes two to tango. Unrequited love is like a double-edge sword repeatedly stabbing every flesh in your body but some people choose to have their eyes closed and continue putting an effort hoping that the other party is going to do the same in the future.

Nevertheless, up to what extent? Whatever the answer in here, life must have a purpose.

Please Don't Look For Me

written by: Susan G. Cura

November  11, 2014 @ 11:57 pm

Please don't look for me when I am gone
I may have found a new road to journey on
It's not that I don't care for you anymore
But sometimes we must walk through new doors

I hope you understand my need to roam
To find my own path, to find my own home
I cherish the moments we had together
But it's time for me to fly like a feather

I don't want to hold you back or cause you pain
Our lives must go on, but never the same
We shared memories that will forever last
But sometimes we must part and let go of the past

Please don't blame yourself or ask why
There are no reasons, no need to cry
Life is a journey, and we all must stray
I hope we cross paths again someday

Until then, please don't look for me when I am away
Let me move forward and find my own way
You'll always be remembered with fondness and love

But I must let go of the past and soar above.

Boracay Escape 2014

Working with foreign people will make you open your mind to so many possibilities I would say. When we talk about Philippines, the first thing that they know is Boracay Island. One of my Japanese student once told me, Boracay tour is the talk of the town. It's a shame I don't know anything about it except the ones I read from the internet.  Hence, this is one of the reason why I visited the place aside from getting out of my usual routine.

September 2014, I got a long holiday from my Korean company and so I booked a flight to Boracay. It will be my first to go as far as 400km by plane from Manila. I was excited of course!  Who isn't?

Me on the plane bound for Caticlan

Touching down Caticlan airport, I can smell the sea. That means, the island is just that close. I took a tricycle ride to the sea port, rode a small ferry, took another tricycle to the accommodation and in no time I have seen the famous white beach. 

Touch down Boracay Airport

I stayed at Moreno's cottage and I was so happy I was given a room on the attic with a small balcony.  I can see the beautiful scenery of thick trees surrounding the cottage.

View from the cottage's balcony

I wasn't able to do some activities because of the southwest monsoon. The waves were so high I can't see boats sailing. But I enjoyed the white sand. They were so fine, it feels so good on the feet. I jogged for a while on the seashore at dawn. I savored the moment when the wind coming from the sea touched my skin.

My feet loved the sand

The sea was angry :)

A foreign tourist enjoying the scenery

My last night on the island; I tried to experience the night life. I went out drinking at a bar of Mandarin Hotel. The cool breeze, the live band plus a bucket of beer completed my night.

The bucket of beer

Perfect for the beer

The live band

 After few hours of enjoying the drinks, the food, the live band and the people around, I decided to retire since I will have to wake up earlier the next morning for my trip to Kalibo airport.

Waking up in the morning, the sun finally came up. I guess the sun was telling me to go back and explore the island next time. LOL

A fine weather to explore but I was going back home. Tsk!

On my way back to Caticlan port (Going home)

Thank you Boracay for the memories! See you again! :)

Puerto Galera 2014: Experiencing the Beauty that Lies Beneath the Sea

January 2014; my friend and I already planned for our dry season escapade. It is difficult for both of us to take a break from work hence weekend was the most convenient days to travel. I live in Batangas which gives me easy access to the seaport going to Puerto Galera whilst she is living in Manila which will take more than 3 hours to travel by bus. Since both of us wanted to have a free schedule during our trip, we opted to have our own DIY trip. Three months were long enough to find for accommodation, plan of who to tag along and plans of what food should we bring.

The day of our trip called for a very early morning routine. We woke up as early as 3 am and we started off at 5 am. My friend's group started off at 4 in the morning. Traffic is not heavy in those hours which will make them travel faster. We will just be meeting each other at the seaport.

I had fun traveling for the scenery has a lot to offer but the road going close to the seaport was bumpy. But that was fine, it's part of the adventure. Arriving at the seaport, I was surprised with how huge the crowd was. I thought we were already early but we failed. Finding my friend in the middle of the crowd can be compared to finding a needle on a haystack.

With all the hardships from planning to traveling to waiting paid off when we reached the place.  The photos cannot justify it, so you've got to experience the place. LOL!

 

Batangas seaport

 

While waiting for the sunset. Seems like I was enjoying the sand not knowing that my friend was taking my picture.

Puerto Galera sunset

The first day of our stay was really relaxing. After swimming until the sunset came, we decided to go around the place to see what kind of night life they have. Since both of us are not into this, we chose to sit near the beach and have a drink. I called my other friend and the three of us talked while me and my other friend were stargazing.

The second day:

Caving

Happiness that money can't buy. I may not have a good relationship with my own family but my friend's family fill in those gaps in my life

Island hopping after snorkeling

The view from below was really spectacular. Getting close to sea creatures affright me at first but the hours of interacting with them faded away the fear.

We do not have an underwater camera so I would say, what lies beneath the sea of Puerto Galera stays beneath the sea of Puerto Galera. haha!

This is all I got,a tortoise! Thank you for showing up at the last minute :D

A tortoise!

'Till next adventure! The Philippines, my home country has a lot to offer. Got to see them before I return to dust. :)

Short story: Now She Knows Why

It's been a long time since she's asked those questions. She's clueless but never gave a chance to find answers because for her, answers will come when it is the right time. She doesn't ask questions to the person concerned because she is a woman who knows how to respect ones choice. She on the other hand, remained truthful; she has unveiled details of her life which she thinks make the person at ease to who she is.

One day, she dreamt of something disturbing. She woke up with the question asking why this certain person is so cold to her despite the fact that she has done things that shows care and love. She's been asking why this person is stabbing her emotionally to the point of making her down. There might be a reason behind this she said.

With that, she did her research. She searched every corner of the web to find answers and she even asked someone's assistance for that. In no time, she found answers. She concluded, with all the information in front of her that this person has been hurt so badly he doesn't want to feel that again or maybe he's taking revenge of the past. In addition, she also assumed that this person is already a father. Perhaps, he has a broken family. Perhaps he chose to lie to her to protect his integrity.

She's glad she has known these information although not proven.  Now, the decision is all hers.

Fruit of my boredom :)

You Were a Friend

You asked why chance was not given,
... simply because you were a friend.
You asked why things happened this way,
...simply because your goal was astray.
You said you searched but you failed,
... simply because your efforts weren't detailed.


You blame me for the past,
... that we didn't last.
You assumed you were my man,
.... the truth, you never became one.
You were challenged the last time we spoke.
... you ignored believing it was a joke.
Reading your messages, realization came to mind,
... nothing shows but fear and goal undefined.